Episode 51

Are you a people pleaser? (and how it can impact your content)

I was bullied for a whole year of primary school.

The kind of nasty exclusion bullying that’s common with young girls.

I got through (and part of me even thinks it was character building). 

But it did leave me with a tendency to ‘people please’. 

Which can show up in all sorts of ways (including your content).

Intrigued? Find out more in this short podcast episode for #AntiBullyingWeek. 

Find out more in this short podcast episode.

Key Links

Janet Murray’s Courageous Content Planner

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Hi, I'm Janet Murray. And I'm guessing you're a people pleaser just like me. One of my favorite novels is catseye by Margaret Atwood. If you haven't read it, it's basically about psychological bullying, specifically exclusion bullying, the type of bullying you often see in young girls. And if you've ever been on the receiving end of it, you probably know what I mean.


So typically there's a ringleader, the queen bee, as it were, who dictates, who is allowed to talk to you and who isn't. And when which means some days you have friends and the next day everyone is ignoring you and you never quite know what you've done to deserve being ignored or the reasons you're given seem insignificant disproportionate, and you just can't work out why everyone is so mad at you.


The reason I identify with this book so strongly is because I was bullied for a whole year of primary school. I arrived at school each day, and I never knew whether I was in or out some days I'd have friends to talk to. Other days, I'd have to stand alone in the playground, reading my book all alone. I remember being delighted when I broke my west because it meant I could stay inside in the library and didn't have to face the bully and to her gang of followers as is typical in these situations,


I tried to change myself to make myself more likable, but the more I tried to be liked and to be likable, the worst the behavior seemed to get. I'll never know why the ringleader, the queen bee picked me out and made me a target for her bullying campaign. I suspect it was because I was a sensitive soul and I cried easily. And when you're a mean-spirited eight year old,


it's kind of fun to make people cry. Right? But even though that experience definitely toughened me up and I probably needed some toughening up, I still carry that wound around with me as an adult. And it often shows up in people pleasing behavior. I often catch myself doing things because I'm afraid people won't like me or where I sense that people don't like me trying to do things that will change their mind about me,


which of course never works. And another place that people pleasing can really show up is in your content. You hold back on posting something on social media, because you're worried what people might think. Maybe you're worried about upsetting people or that people would judge you or even dislike you because you're different or you hold different opinions to them. I share this because I have conversations with clients every single day,


who fear putting themselves out there with their content, because they're afraid of criticized by friends, family, peers, people that used to work with everyone. Really. And I do want to reassure you that those feelings are perfectly normal. And often they are wounds from things that happens in our childhood or at other points in our lives. But while it is okay to have those feelings,


it's not okay to let your fear of what other people think dictate what happens with your content and in your business, taking action, being brave enough to put content out there. Even when you fear criticism, it does require courage. But when you're brave enough to create the kind of content you want to create and you need to create for your business, well,


that's when the magic starts to happen. Would you like to create super engaging content about your business and do it consistently? If so you need my courageous content planner in your life. It's a gorgeous A4 desk diary. That's so simple to use because it's based on my four by four strategy, which involves posting four styles of content four days a week. Yes,


content planning really can be that easy there's templates for daily, weekly, monthly, and annual planning. So, you know exactly what to post where and when plus hundreds of ready to go content ideas and prompts. So you'll never run out of ideas for social media posts again, and accountability trackers to keep you consistent with your posting. The courageous content planner is both practical and pretty with four gorgeous cover designs to choose from.


So if you want to ditch the content overwhelm and you want a simple content plan, you can actually stick to head over to courageouscontentplanner.com to order your copy today. Thanks for listening to the courageous content podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on apple podcast or share the episode on social media. That way more people can benefit from the free tips and strategies I share and be sure to tag me when you do I'm at Jan Murray on Instagram,


Twitter, and TikTok.

About the Podcast

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Courageous Content with Janet Murray
Content marketing advice for small businesses

About your host

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Janet Murray

I’m Janet Murray and I’ve helped thousands of coaches, creative and entrepreneurs learn how to create engaging content – so they can build their online audience and make more sales in their business.

I’m also a podcaster and keynote speaker who has spoken all over the world about content marketing and building online audiences.

Work with me and I’ll teach you the strategies I’ve used to grow a multi six figure online business, selling digital products (including Ebooks, online courses and two membership sites). And launch a physical product – the Social Media Diary & Planner, which has sold thousands of copies, all over the world.